Denial

I donno how many times ive decided against writing in this blog
i donno how many times ive decided to give up on reality
i donno how many times ive decided to let go of social boundries and scream FREE.. run with my naked feet on the cold cold marble on a spring day..

Just another ramble.. from yet another speckle of dust in this incoherent world.

Am rite at the start of a very weird forky way. I look rite and left.. there's no traffic yet i cant seem to be able to cross the road. Almost too afraid to sleep, almost too afraid to wake up. Too afraid to acknowledge the fact; that battles are lost by the great ones, weak ones, and the wanna-bes. We're born to think we're great.. our parents' eagery eyes, hands and everything else push us to stardom.. but one tumble down that cliff of life, knocks the papa noel fantasy out of you at the speed of a second

2009, with heavy greivances, it started and it still is starting .. with nasty turns and twists; with a manifested demon behind every corner..waiting to spring just at the sight of a silhouette.

I admit that im defeated - having lived up to the expecatations that i was the conquerer,, the agressor, the BRIGHT. But to wake up one day, and find yourself the preached rather than the preacher, puts things into perspective. at the age of half a century and a few, its a lesson learnt too late.

I steer the wheel, i take the lead and stop the menace of this manic family, yet i stun myself with utter denial.

Denial it maybe, but the consequences are far from labeled thus.. never been a viper shy of stinging.

Gudnite