propoSal

i cant -- i seriously cant believe that its been that long since i last wrote in here.
anyway, my world is a mplete whirlwill of ups and downs.. so many things has happend the previous two months that i donno where to start.

Most significantly tho, i got proposed to by the most unlikely person to propse on this earth. His proposal came as a total shock to me, where its effects caused sadness rather than joy, tears rather than laughter and a lot of unhappy thoughts.

I had to, forcibly, quit my double edged 'silly' life, knowing that there is no point of return to the womb of carelessness. Oh the rush of feelings have escaped my soul.. what i feel now is numbness.

The irony which consistently seeks my life as a companion has halted my 'supposed' engagement to this person whom i RESPECT very much and right now,, i feel that am juggling insanity with arms wide open.. i ve reached the Pit of actualization and can no longer take the twistedness of fate.

Most of all, i miss my half, my soul, my total existence. and when i say i miss, i mean, i die a thousand deaths a day and wonder,, what should 've been.

Ihave to say that ive stopped my diet and am off to take a bite of yummy chocolate.
Perhaps we meet very soon.